it’s not click-bait. there’s just so much confounding information available, i dont know what’s true anymore. but what i present below is a mixture of personal research and what’s on the www. 

1. do NOT throw coffee grounds into the mud

coffee is acidic and this creates an acidic environment for the plants. some plants love this while some dont. so make sure you know which plant would some some morning joe before you feed it.
coffee releases nitrogen but not right away. dilute with water or mix up with the top soil so the plants get the right nutrition. else it’s just going to sit on top of the mud. 
coffee acts as weed and bug killer so yay! but it also shows the same actions on little wee plantlings and sometimes earthworms. rinsing coffee helps. 

2. do NOT give your plans too much coffee

coffee is a great fertiliser but make sure that 20% of total compost volume is coffee. so if you are a voracious coffee drinker and have lots of grounds, dont just dump em all on your plants and pat yourself on your back. too much coffee can inhibit water retention and air circulation. we obviously dont want this. but adding coffee to the mulch or compost pile can improve your soil. 

3. do NOT use coffee on indoor plants if you have pets.

coffee is toxic to cats and dogs. but the smell is very attractive to them if your cat/dog likes to munch on indoor plant leaves or dig through pots, adding coffee to the mix is definitely not a good idea. same rule for pet turtles and snails. 

4. do NOT use fresh or hot coffee grounds.

this must be a no brainer but i still am going to explain this because we on the third wave of a pandemic cuz people cant understand “mask-up”. do not put in unused, unbrewed coffee on your plants. that is going to kill them for sure. also make sure to never dump hot grounds on the plants. allow it to cool to room temperature before your process it however. 

5. do NOT throw all your coffee grounds in the compost. 

coffee has antibacterial properties which may also kill the good bacteria in the compost. so just cuz it’s food and organic, dont just dump all into your compost either. moderation is key. 

so what can you do with alllllll that coffee!!!

– save up and give it to a local nursery that has a larger requirement
– use up as scrubs, de-odourisers etc.
– make sure to always dilute  (>1:15 )the used grounds and use them on your plants sparingly.
– use em to line the perimeter of your garden to keep bugs and pests away
– grow oyster mushrooms!!
– grow better carrots and radish!