moments from may 2022

01May : studying at 30 is excitingly taxing. iPad and good notes makes it a dream and i know to take better notes. oh but these assignments will be the death of me.

01May : why so much veyil? why the maangas not so delicious? why so blah?

01May : what is it about a Kerala parotta that soothes my soul. every bite fills specific dents in my psyche.

02May : i go saree shopping with the MIL. on the way back in the auto, MIL laments on how there is no new collection and that the sarees aren’t great. the auto anna grins “been driving in T Nagar for several years. every lady who comes out of every saree shop says the same thing”?

04May: know that hot white rage when you encounter snobby middle age males with an ego complex? feels rather unjustified that i don’t get to murder them but then i realise I would just have to do that all day everyday in these times. so i let it be. no, actually. i wish they slip and fall on their bum just enough to make sitting difficult for a week. wish really hard and then i let it be.

07May: Strangers that have your back ?
perfect reminders of humanity, little burst of hues that color your entire day happy.

OMG! what genius is that saami kaayidham movie?!! it’s so awesome in every goddamn aspect i want to cry. how to deal with such awesomeness?! i was not ready for this. ?

09May: my days are spent snoozing, stuffing myself with maampazham and chakka. how does one even spell productivity?
the one thing i have been doing religiously is working out. every morning at 6:30 for which I wake up at 5:30 cuz it takes me an hour to awaken completely. i was not kidding when I said iam not a morning person.

10May:i have this aged professor who teaches me psychology. in class today, he spoke about correcting assignments ASAP cuz he wasn’t sure he would live until the two year course was done. very matter of fact. very calm. very shocking. “verum odambu thaane” (just mortal remains right)

12May: I dreamt of Amma thatha (maternal grandfather) today. with puppies cuz he loved them dearly. in the room with the white and blue oxide tiles that was so clear in my mind that i forgot it doesn’t exist anymore. out of nowhere but iam glad i got to see his signature Amma-thatha smile once again.

13May: what is it about onion and cashew pakoda that hits the right spot in my soul?
also got myself new silver earrings for my piercings and just jooooyyyyy

PMS is wrecking my healthy eating and motivation to exercise. SSRI is my BFF

there’s Is post that’s been doing rounds on Instagram. this male during a potential match making meet comments about how cooking is his hobby and this female went on and on about how her mother slaved in the kitchen under the shackles of patriarchy and how cooking was never a hobby. okay, I get your sentiments, however is it sensation worthy though?
if there’s a free-the-nipple campaign do you write poignantly about breast tax and how your ancestors suffered?!
it’s not worth going viral and millennials and gen Z writing about how they are raising sons who would never see cooking as a hobby.

wrong. cooking can be hobby. if a potential matrimonial match says cooking is his hobby, you say “great you do weekdays and I do weekends”. Or “great, atleast one of us knows/has the time to cook”

just because someone was a horticulturist or was forced into horticulture doesn’t mean someone in this day and age can’t take up gardening as a hobby.

fix the present. don’t just lament about the past. your son can take up cooking as a hobby or not learn at all. your daughter can take up cooking as a hobby or not learn at all.
it’s taking too little to go viral these days. baseless, useless, endless meaningless consumer driven lives.

14May: Soul satisfying visit to see Kabali. Pity they haven’t opened up the Prasadam counter yet.
soul crushing pimple on the bridge of my nose. pity it’s not going away yet.

16May: kani poo makes me happy ?

17May: slept through 2 alarms and missed my 6:30AM workout session. the worst part is that iam feeling bad about it. who am I?!

18May: Doc and I spent the whole damn day doing nothing. food, sleep, some tv and whole lot of nothing. it’s not been easy, it’s not been immediate. it’s taken us several years of knowing each other to get to where we are today. what’s always held us together is the friendship. the love comes and goes and that’s the truth. but the friendship solidified by silly laughs, movie quotes no one else would get. that’s the foundation and we got that pat. ?

23May:periods,PMS,backlog. too much food. zero exercise. feeling bloated and blah.

24May: met up with Binny today just for an hour. was so much fun just catching up on life, coffee and randomness. ? #myfriendisawesome

25May: 5:15AM : as I shut the alarm down from waking Doc, I spent few seconds battling between sleep and getting up to exercise. i chose to wake up. today. it’s always those few seconds before any decision that make the life. so yes, eat that cake pop, get your ass to that yoga class

29May : today was a BURN-IN-HELL-HOT day and also a EVERY-TRAFFIC-SIGNAL-IS-GREEN day. i don’t know what to make of it.

30May : Soul Satisfying  visit to see Muneeswaran. ??

31May: I slept in for 8 whole hours if undisturbed awesome sleep! Doc took care of most of the morning chores like he usually does but he also took his toothbrush to the other room to brush so as to not disturb my sleep. seemingly little things that go unnoticed but make me love that man so so much ♥️?

i can not can not can not believe KK is no more. i don’t know how to process this. i grew up with that voice. love, lust, tears – that voice saw through it all. this is injustice to the balance of the world.