goodness! dont embarrass me!

goodness embarrasses me. so does praise but over the years i have learned to filter praise and compliments. like tea dust in the sieve, it doesnt pass through. but good embarrasses me.

i find it inexplicably odd and weird when someone does something good/sweet for me. it could be something as simple as surprising me with a bounty bar to tidying up a shelf for me, without me asking.

or sometimes even when they merely exceed my expectations of something. i find myself super uncomfortable even when my maid mops the floor to extra shine. i go overboard with compliments for her still embarrassed and unsure about deserving the happiness that came out of that simple task.

i have this pathological need to tip the scales back to normal. i have given heartfelt thanks, many kind words of compliments, made gulab jamuns overnight, written over enthusiased reviews and given 5 star ratings, slipped an extra 100 that i thought might help that person to wackier things unmentioned. and let’s not forget the occasional waterworks.

weird goodness that has embarassed me…

  • amazon sending me a REALLY cute bookmark along with my book.
  • amazing craftmanship from V anna (our all-in-one helper extraordinaire)
  • the random person who gave up their seat for me in the train. 
  • friends who have celebrated my birthday by not cutting a cake because they know me.
  • cappuccino with a smiley face
  • the person who buys EXACTLY what you wanted because i happen to mention it in some random conversation.
  • kind comments from complete strangers on the internet.
  • unexpected blooms from my dying plants

i am just putting it out there for future reference.

in case you bump into me someday and decide to say hello with a book instead of a handshake, expect embarrassed expressions, possible leakage and something in return.