beware of the gym snob – how to spot em and how not to be em

*the great indian fitness series*

one second you are squatting deep, concentrating on squeezing those glut muscles and the next you are blasted with pop, tripping over a dumbbell and watching a pair of lulu-lemons float by in the upside down. it’s not “stranger things”. it’s worse. welcome to the world of the gym snob. every gym has one. every one knows one.
but are you one? look out for these signs.

the selfie

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the selfie will be the death of someone at the gym! honestly! i understand the need to post gym selfies and workout videos. it’s motivational, awesome and a like-magnet. BUT do that when the gym is empty or at the very least less occupied. it’s really distracting to others. sweat is awesome when you have actually worked for it. spritzing “facial mists” for the right sweaty selfie with your butt pushed out is so “mean girls”.
AND hogging the mirror for your selfies is NEVER priority over me checking my form. cuz that’s what the mirrors are actually for! 

put it back.

i have stopped counting the number of times i have tripped over mats and dumbbells! an hour before the zumba class, everyone “marks” their place by putting their mat on the floor! no one is interested in your little dance spot right before the mirror where you can pout and shake your booty (takes skill, i know! put that on the résumé)
also only dogs mark territories! i rest my case!
oh and PLEASE, replace all gym property as and when you are done. some gyms like mine have helpers who do this but that’s HIGH on the snob-o-meter. don’t hog weights. don’t hog machines. and please, just because you put your water bottle on the machine doesn’t make it yours. this isn’t jungle gym at kindergarden.

dial it back.

the gym typically blasts their “music”. everyone has a pair of earphones on them for their own workout playlist. what’s non-snobbish, no.. what’s human is not to keep your music on so loud, people near your can em! also save the singing for the shower. at home. far away from me!
also i truly dont understand the need to be constantly on the phone or jibber jabber with your group while working out. i find this annoying buzz near the cardio machine mostly. if you are ACTUALLY working out, you would save your breath for the right inhales and exhales rather than school girl giggles and gossip!

the advice and tips.

every single person in the gym has an opinion and a new diet fad that they wanna talk about. so unless you are correcting my form (and being right about it), i dont wanna know what fit-tea you are drinking or how to lose 10 kgs in 10 days. cuz that’s not possible.
and some of us like to work out in tee shirts and track pants instead of tank tops and leggings because its comfortable. please dont tell me where i can buy leggings on sale for big girls!
oh and all those tips you throw out like confetti, i hope they are free, cuz i aint gonna spend no money on that.

be hygienic.

this isnt even about being a snob. this is about being human! i dont care if you wear pink on wednesdays and have your princess mode on! everyone sweats in a gym. so be human and wipe it off the equipment when you are done. you will not believe the number of people who call staffers to wipe down their machine before they get on. dude, if it’s disgusting to you, it’s disgusting to me too! 
also PLEASE dont work out if you have cold. or better yet stick to the cardio machine. i get wanting to workout inspite of all odds but spreading virus instead of holiday cheer is never cool! 

so next time, you hit the gym, pay attention to these traits. click a picture of the snob at your gym and tag me on instagram!
Let’s hit em where it hurts! social media!! <insert evil laugh>


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